


So Let's Raise the Bar (And Our Cups to the Stars)

by Brioux



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Dick Pics, Grindr, M/M, Online Dating, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-02 04:03:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5233325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brioux/pseuds/Brioux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s all Jordie’s and Jason’s fault. At least, that’s what Jamie will say later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for a while and I'm finally writing it. This is going to be multiple chapters, but I'm not sure how long it will actually end up being.
> 
> If you or anyone you personally know are tagged in this, please do us both a favor and stop reading now.
> 
> Title from Daft Punk's "Get Lucky"

It’s all Jordie's and Jason’s fault. At least, that’s what Jamie will say later.

In retrospect, Jamie should have known not to leave his phone on the table in the living room for an extended period of time. Not when Jordie and Jason are there, lazing around after practice looking for trouble to get into. But in his defense, he was caught off guard by Cash trampling him the second Tyler opened the door. And then Marshall gave him that look like he wanted Jamie to spend quality time petting just him and by the time Tyler got around to asking if Jamie wanted to go on a walk with them, his phone was long-forgotten.

Jamie takes Marshall’s leash from Tyler’s hand, their fingers brushing across each other lightly, and clips to the chocolate lab. He gets a happy lick to his face in response, making Tyler laugh.

He shouts out to Jordie and Jason that he’s taking the dogs for a walk and the four of them are out the door. Conversation is easy, the two talking about their upcoming game against the Preds and then their upcoming road trip to California. Jamie only realizes he’s left his phone at home when he thinks about taking a photo of Cash holding his own leash in his mouth. It looks like he’s trying to walk himself, and Jamie thinks it has to be one of the cutest things he’s ever seen. Tyler takes a photo of it instead, and promises to text it to him so he can post it on social media.

They get back to Jamie’s place a little more than half an hour later, both of them sweaty and the dogs panting from the Dallas heat. Tyler grabs the bowls Jamie bought for them and fills them up while Jamie gets two water bottles out.

The rest of the night is just a normal night for the four guys and two dogs. Daddy fires up a couple burgers on the grill and they flip between the games being shown on tv until everyone is ready to head home for the night.

Jamie has closed everything up downstairs and is in bed when he finally has time to go through his texts. He responds to his sister because he has to, and ignores the rest except Tyler’s photo of Cash. He decides he wants to post it on his Instagram, so he saves it and opens up the social media folder on his phone. His thumb is about to tap the Instagram icon when he notices the unfamiliar app sitting right below it.

Abandoning the photo of Cash, he lets curiosity get the better of him and thumbs it open instead. The second it’s up, he feels embarrassment course through his entire body. He quickly types out a text to Jordie.

_Jamie: Why the fuck did u put grindr on my phone?_

He doesn’t have to wait too long for a response.

_Jordie: Wow u found that quick._

_Jordie: Daddy and I think u need to get out there again. U had enough time to get over dickface. Now u gotta move on._

Jamie’s blood starts rushing through his ears. He knows he’s hasn’t exactly been himself lately. Jamie- Fuck, Jamie had been ready to ask Blake to move in with him. He had seriously considered coming out publicly so they could fully be together. And then Blake suddenly decided they just weren’t right for each other anymore, shattering Jamie’s heart with hardly an explanation. It was the single most painful experience Jamie had ever been through. He isn’t proud of how he handled the break up, throwing himself one hundred percent into hockey and basically cutting himself off from everyone except his brother. He knows that’s what led to his hips getting more fucked up than they already were, and why he ended up needing surgery for them after the season was over.

And Jordie. Well, Jordie had been there the second Jamie had called him. He dropped everything, rushing to his brother’s side to pick up the pieces.

Jamie doesn’t know why he doesn’t just delete the app right away. It was a violation of his privacy for them to put it on there, and he doesn’t need the fucking help, okay? He’s more than capable of taking care of himself.

Except.

Except maybe it isn’t a completely terrible idea. He kinda owes it to his brother to stop moping around. It’s not like Jamie is going to pick up at a straight bar, and he sure as hell isn’t going to risk going into a gay bar in Dallas. He’d stick out like a sore thumb against all the cowboys and Deadspin would be ripping him apart before he even left with someone. Plus- and don’t tell Jordie this- Jamie is getting a little tired of his hand.

So instead of deleting it, Jamie decides to take a look at what Jordie and Jason set up for him.

The photo they chose isn’t one that Jamie necessarily would have picked for himself, but… he’s kinda glad they did, actually. He can tell it’s from last summer based on the tattoos he does and doesn’t have. He’s standing on the pier on the lake back home, shirtless with his back to the camera. It definitely shows off his best assets, without showing his face.

His profile makes him sound good, too. It’s a sign that this was something Jordie and Jason meant to help him with, not just some elaborate and very personal prank. They’ve said he’s recently single and looking for hook ups only. He’s athletic, a little shy, and is a top.

Jamie blushes at the thought of his brother thinking about that last part. But, well, it isn’t a lie. The one time he and Blake tried it the other way around ended up with both of them embarrassed and completely turned off. They didn’t sleep together for almost a week after that. So yeah, Jamie’s a top with no interest in changing it up any time soon.

The whole thing is… a lot to take in, right now. So Jamie makes a couple quick changes to his profile, mostly mentioning that he travels around a lot for work, before closing it out. Maybe he’ll open it again another time.


	2. Chapter 2

Jamie is so fucking bored. Jordie left for his date with Amanda hours ago with the promise he wasn’t coming home until tomorrow morning, Daddy talked about taking some of his friends from the visiting Sharks out tonight, and Tyler mentioned something about his weekly Skype date with his sisters. He’s been alone with himself all night and is going a little stir-crazy with nothing to do. Normally he would just jerk off, but lately he’s been having an issue finishing the job by himself. He’s been a little uninspired, even while watching porn. But—he does have another option that might give him some help. So he goes to bed early and does the one thing he’s kinda been avoiding for the past two weeks.

He opens Grindr.

He’s kinda surprised at how many messages he has waiting for him. Most of them are dick pics, (Who is he kidding? They’re all dick pics) though he isn’t too disappointed in that. If he can get rid of his mental block, he’s got enough jerk off material now to last him a while, even if a couple of the photos are a little on the sketchy side of things. And, realistically, isn’t that the whole point of this thing in the first place? It’s a gay hook up app.

He decides early on that he's not going to message anyone back, though one guy has him reconsidering that decision. His name is Paul, and based on the photo he sent he’s got probably one of the sexiest bodies Jamie has ever seen. He looks a little young, which makes Jamie hesitate, but good God if his dick isn’t the prettiest thing on Jamie’s phone right now. It’s enough of a temptation that Jamie gives in and kicks his sweatpants down towards the end of the bed to wrap his fist around himself.

Embarrassingly, once he gets going it doesn’t take long for Jamie to spill over his hand and stomach, staring at the soft curve of Paul’s dick. He’ll chalk his lack of stamina up to being blocked for so long. He blushes, despite being the only person in the house, and makes a spur-of-the-moment decision to snap a photo of his torso, the evidence of his actions streaked obviously across him. His dick is soft now, smaller than it is when it’s completely hard, but Jamie knows he’s still an impressive size regardless. Maybe it’s risky to send it, but he’s feeling a little brave and a lot come-drunk.

_J: Thanks for the photo._

He doesn’t get an answer right away, which is totally fine. Paul is probably a busy dude. So he drags himself out of bed and into the shower where he can at least clean himself off before heading back to bed.

He forgoes any clothing since the Dallas heat is a bitch even as the season turns into winter and it’s not like Jordie is going to walk in on him tonight. He’s just getting settled, SportsCenter on his tv, when his phone chirps. He’s got a new message on Grindr.

_Paul: holy shit thats hot. glad to be of service ;)_

_J: I’ve been blocked and your pic was definitely helpful._

_Paul: honestly its an older pic but i still look the same pretty much. here lemme send you a new one. help u out a little more._

The photo comes in a couple minutes later and Jamie’s mouth goes dry. Holy shit, this guy is fucking gorgeous. His first photo was hot, sure, but this one is just downright sinful. His dick is half-hard and his hand is wrapped around part of it, but it’s clearly bigger than it looked the first time. Paul is wearing a black long-sleeved shirt that’s rucked up to display his chiseled abs as the background to his dick. Jamie wonders briefly if this guy has ever done porn, just because he’s seriously got the body and the dick for it. Jamie’s brain almost short-circuits thinking about how much he would love to get it in his mouth, and types out as much. Paul doesn’t respond right away, and Jamie is a little nervous maybe that was too forward. His worry is squashed, though, a couple minutes later. He lets out a sigh as he reads the message.

_Paul: sry my dog was being a dick. but holy fuck dude yeah i would be so down for that_

_Paul: so does j stand for something?_

Jamie pauses before responding. He isn’t sure if he wants to give out his name. Jordie might make fun of him for thinking it, but he is a public figure in Dallas. And while his main photo doesn’t show his face, anyone could easily put two and two together and figure it out. He doesn’t know Paul, so he has to be careful.

_J: Yup._

_Paul: not gonna tell me? :(_

_J: Not yet._

_Paul: u sure? i need to know what name to moan when i get off looking at ur pic._

And that’s something that—wow, Jamie is getting hard again just thinking about Paul jerking himself to Jamie’s body.

_Paul: at least send me another pic to help_

That’s a request Jamie is willing to fulfill, especially since it seems his hand is now naturally gravitating towards his dick. He tugs himself quickly to full size, slightly wanting to impress Paul and slightly wanting to see his reaction.

_Paul: oh holy fuck j ur huge_

_Paul: so ur a grower and a shower? totally unfair and totally hot at the same time ;)_

_J: I’m a big dude._

_Paul: i can see that_

_Paul: i might be willing to risk my life to sit on ur cock_

Jamie can’t help but flush at the compliment, though his slight embarrassment doesn’t last very long since the next message is another photo of Paul’s dick, this time up close and personal. His hand is a blur and there’s a large bead of precum on the head dripping down. Jamie really wants to lick it up; he wants to get his mouth all over Paul. His hand speeds up and he’s getting close to his second orgasm of the night when another message pops up.

_Paul: fuck i’m so hard_

_Paul: pls tell me ur about to come cause i am_

_J: Yes_

_Paul: good_

_Paul: shit i just came all over myself_

The message comes with a photo attached of Paul’s come pooling in the creases of his abs and that’s it for Jamie. His phone slips from his hand and he’s shooting up his chest for the second time of the night, not bothering to hold back his groans. He takes a minute, breathing in and out slowly to get his heart rate down, before grabbing his phone off the floor where he dropped it.

_Paul: ok seriously that was the hardest i’ve come in months_

_J: Me too._

_Paul: this might be too forward but ur dick is literally everything i’ve ever dreamed of. i just want to split myself on it._

_J: You have no shame, do you?_

_Paul: nah not really_

_J: Good to know._

_J: And for the record, your abs are killer. I kinda want nothing more than to rub myself off on them._

_Paul: thanks! ur welcome to them any time._

_J: I’ll keep that in mind. I have to go to bed now. Talk to you again soon?_

_Paul: i really hope so._

_J: Awesome_

He feels a little awkward, leaving the conversation like that, but in the end he can’t bring himself to really care. He’s almost giddy, fading in and out of a happy unconsciousness. His body is exhausted and really it’s probably the most relaxed Jamie has felt physically since the mess with Blake started.

After wiping down quickly, he plugs his phone back in and pulls the sheet up around him. He’s probably going to have to shower again in the morning, but he falls asleep with a content smile on his face anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is going to end up being 5 chapters, plus maybe a little epilogue. So we're half way there :)

Their late-night sexting must have opened up a flood gate or something, because over the next two weeks not a day goes by that Paul doesn’t message Jamie.

Most of the time, it’s a photo of his dick that leads to Jamie getting hard and taking a photo of himself and things spiraling from there. But after they’ve both come, they usually talk a little about themselves and whatever’s going on. Jamie finds out that Paul’s originally from Toronto, loves all animals but especially dogs (he already has at least one, and hopes to one day adopt more), and is a huge sports fan.

It’s the last one that makes Jamie really nervous. Though Paul talks mostly about football, Jamie knows that too much sports-talk could lead to conversations that he doesn’t want to have quite yet. For now, though, they mostly stick to football. Paul is a Cowboys fan, but also watches the Patriots when he can. Jamie thinks Tyler would probably like him for that.

One night Paul does admit that he’s a Stars fan, as does Jamie, but neither seem too eager to talk a lot about the team. Jamie thinks it’s a little weird for a Canadian boy to want to talk about football more than hockey, but he’s not complaining. He wouldn’t know what to do if Paul asked him who his favorite player is or something.

Jamie also never asks Paul what he does for a living. Mostly because he doesn’t want the question turned back on him. Thankfully Paul never brings it up either, though he does mention once that he goes home to Toronto for a couple weeks every summer so Jamie figures he must be a teacher or something else with a summer break.

Jamie is on the plane to Anaheim and they are discussing the Cowboys’ chances on the season now that Romo is hurt again when Paul randomly sends him another ridiculously hot photo. Jamie’s breath catches in his throat as he takes in the sight of Paul’s thick, muscular thighs bracketing his hard cock. As always his abs are on full display and Jamie is really glad he mentioned how much he loves them.

_Paul: tbh i’ve been hard all day thinking about ur dick_

_J: Jesus._

_Paul: is that what j stands for? ;)_

_J: No_

_Paul: wanna know a secret?_

_J: I’m afraid to say yes._

_Paul: i’ve also had this in my ass all day._

He’s attached a photo of—oh holy shit, Jamie has to press the heel of his palm to his crotch just to keep from coming instantly. He risks a glance around him. It looks like Spezz is reading a book a couple rows up, and Tyler is fucking around on his phone in the row before that, but thankfully the rest of his teammates are sound asleep.

Reassured that no one is paying attention to him, Jamie pulls his blanket over his lap and turns his attention back to the photo. Paul’s got his back to a mirror and Jamie follows the smooth curve of his skin down to where he can see a green plug nestled between Paul’s ass cheeks. (A tiny part of him is ridiculously turned on that it happens to be victory green, though he knows he has to keep that bit of information to himself.) He has to keep one hand cupped around himself under the blanket as the conversation continues.

_Paul: i’m out w my coworkers and every time i move it pushes up against my prostate._

_Paul: i love how good it feels filling me up. but i bet ur dick would feel even better._

_J: You’re going to kill me._

_Paul: i hope not before i get u in me :(_

_J: I want nothing more than to pin you down and completely wreck you_

_Paul: now we’re talking ;)_

_J: God your ass is so beautiful. I bet it would be so tight around my cock._

_Paul: i’m so fucking hard right now. lemme see u._

Jamie thinks for a second. He can’t take a photo here, it would be too obvious that he’s on a plane and that might make Paul ask questions he’s not ready to answer yet. So he flips through his saved photos instead, finding one he took during their jerk-off session a couple days ago. He never got around to sending it then, so he figures he can use it now.

_Paul: god ur sexy. i bet ur all muscle. could probably pin me down and hold me there w out even trying_

_J: I am and I could. If that’s what you want._

_Paul: hell yea. make me take as much of ur cock as ur willing to give me. make me beg for it._

Jamie’s whole body shivers. The thought of having Paul pinned to the bed and begging is really doing it for him. It’s a little kinky, and also something he hasn’t thought of in a really long time. Blake was completely disinterested in anything more than vanilla sex, despite all the times Jamie tried to get him to spice things up.

_J: I want to make you beg so much. Give you just the tip over and over until you’re crying you want me so bad. And then plow into you until you can’t even remember your own name. Just sobbing out mine._

_Paul: fuckkkk_

Jamie is seriously considering undoing his pants and taking care of himself right now when a movement catches his eye. He adjusts himself quickly and opens up Twitter just as Tyler passes him, stumbling into the seats a little.

“You okay?” Jamie asks before Tyler can say anything.

 “Yeah,” Tyler responds, his voice thick.

“Are you sure? You don’t look good, bud,” Jamie says.

And really, he’s not lying. Tyler’s whole face is flushed, he’s breathing fast, and there’s a look in his eyes like he’s super uncomfortable. It makes the captain in Jamie really worried he’s getting sick or something.

“Don’t get all freaked-out captain on me, Chubbs.” Tyler forces a laugh. “This plane is hot as fuck and I gotta piss.”

Jamie nods and lets him pass without saying any more. He looks down at his phone and the angry blue of Twitter is staring back at him. He groans to himself, realizing what he almost just did.

“Way to keep it professional, captain,” he mutters to himself.

He breathes deeply and thinks about being on the ice as the Stars lose in overtime of game seven in the Stanley Cup Finals in order to will his erection down. It’s pretty much working, and by the time Tyler passes again on the way back to his seat, clearly more stable on his feet, Jamie has himself mostly under control. He doesn’t risk taking a look at his messages until he’s sure no one else is getting up.

_Paul: if u can make me come this hard just with ur words i can’t wait to actually get u in bed._

Jamie doesn’t respond. Can’t respond, or he knows he’ll lose the control he was able to gain. But he does make a mental note to go back to that photo when he gets into the hotel room. And if he chokes on a moan, coming to the sight of the victory green plug calling his name from it’s place in Paul’s ass, no one is there to know about it.


	4. Chapter 4

Jordie finally says something when it’s gotten to a point where Jamie is messaging Paul every day for more than just booty calls.

“So who is he?” Jordie asks, flopping down on the other end of the couch as they’re getting ready for the Leafs/Habs game to start.

“What?” Jamie asks, not looking up from his phone. He’s distracted, he knows, but whatever. Paul is actually talking about hockey for once. Apparently the Leafs were his favorite team growing up.

“I’m not oblivious, Chubbs.” Jordie rolls his eyes. “You’ve been smiling and walking with a bounce in your step. It’s kinda disgusting and I want to know who’s made you like this.”

“Oh, uh.” Jamie blushes. “It’s—it’s not that important.”

“You were whistling on the ride home today,” Jordie deadpans.

“Was I?” Jamie asks. Jordie just stares at him.

“Out with it, little brother, or I will make your life a living hell.”

“His-his name is Paul,” Jamie admits sheepishly.

“And?”

“And what?”

“Tell me more. Just giving me his name isn’t enough. Where did you meet him? Where’s he from? What does he do?”

Jamie shrugs, not really wanting to answer him but knowing there isn’t really a choice here.

“I haven’t actually met him in person. We kinda matched on Grindr and have been talking through there.”

“You haven’t met him yet?” Jordie asks.

“No,” Jamie answers.

“Does he know who you are?” Jamie won’t meet his eyes, and that’s enough of an answer for Jordie. “Okay, let’s forget about that for a moment. What else do you know about him?”

“He’s from Toronto,” Jamie supplies. “I don’t know exactly what he does, but I’m thinking it has to be a teacher or professor of some sort.”

“You’re hot for teacher?” Jordie chuckles and nudges Jamie’s leg with his foot.

“I guess.” Jamie blushes.

“But you also like him for more than just his dick, I’m guessing.”

Jamie chokes. “I-I uh. Yeah,” he manages to stutter

Jordie goes silent as the puck drops, but Jamie knows better than to think the conversation is over. They focus just on the game until intermission, when Jordie brings Paul back up again.

“So when will you meet Paul in person?” he asks.

“Uh.” Jamie blanches.

“Please don’t tell me you aren’t going to meet him,” Jordie demands.

“I don’t know,” he mumbles.

Jamie has thought about it, really. He’s thought a lot about Paul and what meeting him could mean. In reality, Paul is probably one of the easiest people Jamie has ever talked to. And Paul has a huge heart, which Jamie has come to learn. He cares so much about his sister and his dog and his job- even though Jamie still has no idea what is it. Plus on top of everything, the sexual chemistry is probably the hottest Jamie has ever had with anyone, and they haven’t even gotten the chance to touch each other yet.

But as awesome as it would be to meet Paul and maybe take him on a date or something, Jamie can’t help but think about Blake. He still isn’t sure what made him run off, and Jamie has to figure it’s something he did or said. He’s got a demanding job. One that he gives one hundred percent mentally, emotionally, and physically to each and every day. It’s also one that puts him in the spotlight, and Jamie isn’t sure if he wants to come out to the world at this point in his career. That alone could be challenging enough for Paul to decide he wants nothing to do with him.

Jamie knows his worries are written all over his face, especially since his brother has always been able to read him so easily.

“Fuck. Chubbs listen to me, okay?” Jordie pleads. “You don’t have to commit to him today. You don’t even have to date him if you don’t want to. But you two have been talking for weeks now, and he’s already making you so much happier than Blake ever did. I just don’t want you to regret not trying when obviously there’s something there.”

“What if I want something more and he doesn’t?” Jamie asks quietly.

“Then he’s a fucking idiot and doesn’t deserve you,” Jordie says. “But don’t just assume he’s going to be like the dick face and give up before you even get to try.”

Jamie nods, knowing his brother is right.

Typing out the message is terrifying. But not nearly as terrifying as the thought of sending it. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how he looks at it) Jordie is hovering right over Jamie’s shoulder, watching as he debates with himself over sending it. After nearly five minutes of watching Jamie’s face contort back and forth, Jordie loses his patience and takes Jamie’s phone from his hand. He presses send and hands it back.

_J: So I was thinking maybe we could actually meet each other?_

_Paul: yeah?_

_J: If you want._

_Paul: definitely. my schedule is a little crazy, but i would make time for u._

Jordie coos and Jamie realizes he’s been watching over his shoulder. He gives Jordie a shove and blocks the view to his phone.

_J: How about Saturday afternoon?_

_Paul: ur in luck, i have that afternoon off ;)_

_J: Cool. You can pick the place, if you want._

_Paul: a guy who lets me choose where our first date is. nice. r u trying to woo me?_

_J: Maybe I am, maybe I’m not._

_Paul: :)_

_Paul: there’s a coffee shop on elm called urban blend. u know it?_

_J: Yeah. A friend of mine goes there a lot._

_Paul: there’s a booth in the back corner that’s almost always empty. i’ll meet u there at 3?_

Jamie thinks about it. He knows which booth Paul is talking about, he’s been to the shop enough times after practice with Jordie and Tyler and occasionally Daddy. He also knows that the hour between when he’ll finish skate and when Paul will be meeting him might drive him crazy. It’s not enough time for him to go home and relax for a bit, but also too much time for him to go straight there. He’ll figure it out, though. For Paul.

_J: It’s a date :)_


	5. Chapter 5

Jamie is really nervous.

No, seriously. He wasn’t even this nervous on his draft day. Or when he was named captain. Or when he played in the Olympics. Or when he won the Art Ross.

But all of those things he knew, deep down, how they were going to end up before they happened. He had worked too hard not to get drafted, even if he did have to wait until the fifth round. Management had basically treated him like their captain as soon as the summer started, so he had time to get ready for that. The Olympics—that he was the most nervous about, but even then it was just hockey. Really, _really_ good hockey. But it was just hockey. And the Art Ross, well…that one he wasn’t expecting at all. But that’s why he wasn’t nervous about it. He thought for sure it would go to John or Sid. But then he had that game and suddenly it was his. He didn’t have time to be worried about it, it just happened.

But this—his date with Paul…This, he has no idea how it’s going to end. He’s got plenty of scenarios running through his mind, but there’s no telling exactly how this will play out.

Scenario one has him showing up to Urban Blend and sitting in the booth, his coffee getting cold, only to realize Paul isn’t showing up. Paul was never going to show up.

Scenario two has Paul showing up, but getting freaked out over “J from Grindr” being Jamie Benn, captain of the Dallas Stars, and deciding right then and there that this—whatever it could be—isn’t worth it to him.

Scenario three also has Paul recognizing him, but in scenario three, Paul has known all along who Jamie is, and has been setting this elaborate trap to get into Jamie’s wallet. Or pants. Or it’s been a prank the whole time.

Scenario four is the one that terrifies him the most. Scenario four came to Jamie late last night, as he was lying in bed. Scenario four ends with Jamie and Paul talking for so long at the coffee shop that the workers have to kick them out as they’re closing down, hours later. Jamie blushes when he realizes how late it is, and Paul smiles at him and takes his hand. Jamie walks Paul to his car because he’s a gentleman, and Paul gives him the most amazing kiss against his driver’s side door. Paul sneaks Jamie’s phone out from his pocket and programs his number in, making Jamie promise to call him in the morning. The next day, Jamie does, and they set up a second date. And then a third, and then a fourth, and then a fifth, and suddenly Jamie is head over heels for a guy he met on Grindr and is shopping for wedding bands and wondering if he could convince his mom that it’s not a terrible idea to have Paul’s dog be the ring bearer.

That’s the scenario that Jamie thinks he’s the least mentally prepared for.

Fortunately, he’s got hockey to take his mind off things for the morning. And as much as Jordie loves to give him shit for just about everything, he’s being a very supportive big brother about this. He’s leaving Jamie alone for the most part. There are no comments about his hair or his clothes. Jordie doesn’t even call him Chubbs once. It’s…oddly sweet of him to let Jamie freak out inside his own head without adding any extra mental pressure.

Jamie isn’t sure if it’s just him, or if everyone is a little on edge today. Shots are going wide, passes aren’t connecting, and by the time practice is called it seems as though everyone is ready to get the hell off the ice. With the rest of the day off and optional practice tomorrow, there’s a bit of chatter about going for lunch, mostly coming from Daddy. But mostly everyone wants to head home for the rest of the day to relax. Even Tyler said he’s just going to run a couple errands and then probably chill at home with the pups. So Jamie doesn’t feel too bad about ditching the quest for team bonding.

Jamie gets to the coffee shop early, like he knew he would, and gets his drink. The booth is available, so he slides in to the the seat facing away from the door. He’s not sure he can face it, knowing that every time the bell chimes he’d be tempted to look up.

Especially since Paul messaged him late last night saying he would be wearing that green plug to coffee, just for him. (That’s still Jamie’s go-to jerk off photo, despite having his own private collection of photos of Paul’s cock. There’s just something about it that sets Jamie on the edge and makes him come so hard he sees stars.)

It makes Jamie’s heart rate spike just thinking about how soon, Paul will actually be sitting right across from him.

His coffee is empty and the clock on his phone ticks over to 3:02 when he starts to panic that scenario one is coming true. But then a low voice cuts into his thoughts.

“Come here often?” Jamie takes a breath, knowing this is the moment of truth, and looks up.

“Tyler?” Jamie’s eyes go wide.

“Jamie! Uh. What are you doing here?” Tyler’s face looks just as shocked.

“Having coffee,” Jamie stutters, deliberately leaving out the part about having a date. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m-uh. I’m supposed to be meeting someone. I um…” Tyler trails off.

“Who are you meeting?” Jamie asks.

“Uh—just. Just a friend, you know. No biggie.”

“Cool.”

Jamie doesn’t really know what to say, and it looks like Tyler doesn’t either. He’s acting a little skittish, which is super weird for him. But Jamie knows he probably doesn’t have a lot of room to talk, considering how off he’s been all day.

“Can I sit?” Tyler asks nervously.

“Yeah, of course.” Tyler slides into the other side of the booth and glances behind Jamie, presumably at the door.

“What time are you supposed to meet your friend?” Jamie asks.

“Three,” Tyler says, taking a glance at his watch. “So he should be here in the next couple minutes.”

Jamie glances at his phone. “It’s past three,” he says.

Tyler checks his phone.

“Oh. Yeah, it is. Guess I should see where he’s at.”

His thumbs fly across his phone and Jamie busies himself watching the bartender make what looks like a very complicated drink instead of paying attention to those around him. He’s come to the conclusion that by now, Paul isn’t going to show up, and he’s not sure if he’s ready to go home and face Jordie’s impending inquisition yet.

“I guess I should go get something to drink while the line is short,” Tyler says. “Want anything?”

“My usual, I guess,” Jamie says and lifts his cup. “But decaf.”

Tyler nods and heads over to the counter. Jamie had to have been a masochist in a former life because he checks his phone again, a little afraid of what time it’s going to say now and completely ready for disappointment. But instead of a blank screen, he’s surprised to see a message from Paul.

_Paul: u here yet? i am._

_J: Yeah. I’m inside._

There’s no immediate response, so Jamie starts searching the fairly-busy coffee shop. He wishes he knew what Paul looked like, since going off body type alone isn’t exactly an easy task for recognizing someone in a crowd. There are only three people in the room that he thinks could be Paul, based on the photos he’s received. The first is Tyler, which—obviously no. The second is the guy sitting at a table by the windows. But as Jamie watches, a girl sits down next to him and presses a kiss to his lips. So not him, either. The last guy is sitting a couple tables over, by himself, with his laptop open. He’s typing away and it looks like his coffee cup is empty. Subjectively speaking, he’s cute. In a nerdy kind of way. He’s totally pulling off the “hot professor” look, with his glasses, cardigan and bow tie. That definitely could be his Paul, though Jamie’s gut reaction says he doesn’t look like the kind of guy who messages a complete stranger a photo of a butt plug in his ass.

And damn it, now Jamie is thinking about that photo again. Which freaking sucks because it’s like his body has been trained to respond to it, even without actually looking at it.

He decides that Paul must be parking his car or something. He’ll be walking through the door any minute now…

Jamie shifts uncomfortably in his seat as Tyler comes back, their drinks in his hand. The door opens behind him and both of their heads swivel around to look. It’s just an older woman, though, and Jamie is positive that’s not his Paul. He’ll be here soon, though. At least, Jamie hopes he will.

“Did your friend respond?” Jamie asks, trying to distract himself from thinking about the dimples in Paul’s lower back that he wants to dig his thumbs into so hard he leaves bruises.

“Uh…” Tyler pulls his phone out and checks. “Yeah, actually. He said he’s here.”

He starts looking around, and Jamie fidgets with his thumb nail.

“You want me to leave?” he asks.

“I mean…”

Jamie sighs, knowing this is when he gets kicked out of his seat.

“Okay, I’ll go."

Jamie moves to stand up, but Tyler’s hand on his wrist stops him.

“Wait,” Tyler says. “I—maybe stay? He said he’s here but I haven’t seen him yet, and we were supposed to meet a long time ago. I’m really hoping he didn’t see me here and recognized me and then decide to leave but I don’t…maybe he went to the wrong place?”

Jamie slides back into the booth and purposely doesn’t comment on how Tyler’s fingers remain wrapped around his wrist in the midst of his obvious mini freak out. Tyler brings his other hand up to rub at his cheek and that’s when Jamie notices the little scar on his middle finger. The same one that—

“Tyler _Paul_ Seguin,” Jamie gasps.

“What?” Tyler looks up at him, confused.

“Oh shit.”

Tyler doesn’t get it, but Jamie does. Oh my god, he gets it and he has no idea what to think.

“You’re Paul,” he says more to himself. Tyler must hear him, though, and the pieces start falling into place.

“Jamie. J. Fuck.” Tyler’s eyes are wide. “You’re J. I’ve been—”

 A soft sound, more like a wheeze, falls from Jamie’s lips. This so can not be happening.

“You’re Paul,” Jamie says stupidly.

“And you’re J.”

Jamie can’t help but run over every single conversation he’s had with Paul—with _Tyler_ — in his head. Everything makes sense. The dogs, the Patriots, the summer vacation in Toronto. Even his avoidance of talking about hockey. All along, Paul was Tyler and now that he knows, Jamie has no idea how he didn’t realize it earlier.

But this also means that all those photos Jamie’s jerked off to were—oh god, all those times he sent photos. All those times he told Paul explicitly what he wanted to do to him. How he wanted to lay him out on the bed and have him begging for his cock. And—and that time on the plane? It was _Tyler_ the whole time.

Tyler Seguin. His teammate. His line mate. His _best friend_ , Tyler Seguin.

They stare at each other for a second, both of them still trying to process what’s going on. Jamie knows that the middle of this coffee shop is so not the place for the conversation they’re going to have to have.

“We should probably talk about this,” Jamie says, slowly. “We _have_ to talk about this. But not here.”

“No. My place?” Tyler offers quietly.

That’s a good choice, since Jordie is probably waiting at Jamie’s house ready to pounce.

“I’ll follow you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said last chapter that this would be the final one besides the epilogue, but don't panic! I got to a point where I realized this has to be split into two parts. So one last chapter left, and then the epilogue :)
> 
> Thank you all so much for the amazing comments. I'm so glad you're loving reading this as much as I'm loving writing it.


	6. Chapter 6

Jamie pulls into the driveway right behind Tyler and follows him into the house. Cash is instantly all over him, and Jamie has to wonder if it was him or Marshall all those times Paul mentioned his dog being crazy.

Tyler shoos both pups outside to the backyard and grabs them each a bottle of water.

“So, uh. I guess we have to talk about this,” Tyler says.

“Yeah,” Jamie agrees.

And fuck, Jamie’s at a loss for words. How do you start a conversation with your best about how you’ve been sexting through Grindr for weeks without knowing it was each other? And possibly started to fall in love with him?

“I didn’t know it was you,” Jamie says.

“Me neither,” Tyler agrees.

“But—”

“I don’t think we should do this,” Tyler says sharply.

“What?”

“I—we’re teammates. Lineys. I can’t—we can’t…” Tyler shifts, refusing to meet Jamie’s eyes.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my captain. We play together and we’re both leaders on this team. We can’t risk fucking up the team for this. I won’t risk that.”

“Is that what you really think?” Jamie asks. Tyler shrugs. “Well I don’t think we would mess with team dynamics. Ty, we’re already best friends. We’re already in each other’s space entirely too much. Not much would really change, here.”

Tyler is just quiet, staring at the floor. His silence strikes a nerve within Jamie.

“Why was J good enough for you, but Jamie isn’t?”

“J was a random guy, okay?” Tyler says. “J was just a new friend. Someone who didn’t know me already. I could be myself talking to him because he didn’t know me. But of course then J had to be you.”

“And I’m not your friend? Is that what you’re saying here, Tyler?” Jamie shakes his head.

“That’s not what I meant,” Tyler says with a sigh.

“That’s what you said. J was your friend, which was cool. But J is actually me and now you’re no longer okay with it.”

“I just don’t want to date a teammate!” Tyler yells, startling him. “I don’t want to date you!”

Jamie is stunned. This wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. He thought Tyler being Paul was great news. The guy he’s been head over heels for on Grindr was actually his best friend all along. It sounds like a cheesy rom-com, but in the end it not only made a lot of sense, but it also would make their relationship a lot easier. They wouldn’t have to deal with the separation that comes with constantly being on the road. They know they get along fine during stressful times, like the playoffs. Tyler fit easily into Jamie’s life the very first day he arrived in Dallas, and it’s taken Jamie this long to figure out exactly why.

But there isn’t a relationship forming between them. And there won’t be. At least, not according to Tyler.

Jamie didn’t know anything could hurt this much.

“So that’s it?” he asks softly. “You’re not even willing to try?”

“No,” Tyler says. He won’t meet Jamie’s eyes.

“I—I can’t be here.” Jamie turns to leave, stumbling into the kitchen chair.

“Jamie,” Tyler whispers. Jamie pauses, but can’t make himself turn around. “I’m sorry.”

Jamie shakes his head, not trusting himself to speak. He lets himself out through the garage and gets into his car. He’s probably lucky he’s made this drive so many times in the past, since his brain seems to be on autopilot the whole way home.

“Chubbs?” Jordie calls after Jamie slams the front door shut. Jamie breezes through the hallway and through the kitchen on his way to his room. “How’d it go?”

Jamie doesn’t respond—can’t respond—which is enough of a red flag to have Jordie following him up the steps and into his room. Jamie wants to slam the door in his face, but knows that won’t solve anything. He still won’t be good enough for Tyler.

It’s like the disaster with Blake all over again.

Instead, he knocks over everything on his dresser, including a frame with a photo of him and Tyler from last summer that shatters into a millions pieces, and falls face down on his bed.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Jordie asks cautiously.

Jamie shakes his head into his pillow, feeling the hot prick of tears forming in his eyes. He really just wants to be alone right now.

“Did you eat?”

Jamie shakes his head again.

“Okay, bud,” Jordie says. “I’m gonna go downstairs and warm up some leftovers from last night. I’ll bring them up for you.”

Jamie hears him leave and can’t hold his tears back any longer. He lets the flow freely, knowing he’s got a little bit of time before Jordie comes back.

Jamie lies on his bed, tears streaming down his face until Jordie comes back. The promising smell of food has him shifting so his back is against the headboard. He still won’t meet his brother’s gaze, though. He can’t. The pain of Tyler’s words is starting to be replaced by guilt for Jordie being stuck with him like this.

Jamie doesn’t think he deserves a brother like Jordie. Someone who cares that much surely has someone else that could be more important. Jamie’s not that important. Not to Blake. Not to Tyler. He shouldn’t be to anyone, and Jordie sure as hell shouldn’t feel obligated to take care of his stupid baby brother.

Jordie presses the plate of food into his hands and he scarfs it down, which makes him feel a little better. He still feels like shit, but at least he’s not hungry on top of it.

 “Still want me to just go away?” Jordie asks.

“No,” Jamie says. He tries for an even-keeled voice, but he knows it comes out more pathetic than anything else. Jordie deserves better than this, but Jamie really just needs his brother here right now. He clears his throat and tries again. “No. Please stay.”

Jordie does stay, and Jamie knows he has to figure out a way to tell Jordie what happened without throwing Tyler under the bus.

“He didn’t want me,” Jamie whispers. “He found out who I am, and he didn’t want me."

Jordie drops a hand on his shoulder and squeezes tight.

“He wasn’t worth you, then,” he says. “He’s a fucking loser and you deserve a lot better.”

“I—I don’t…”

Jamie wants to say he doesn’t agree. He wants to tell Jordie just how amazing Paul—Tyler—is. He wants to tell Jordie that it’s Tyler who deserves better, not himself. But he can’t make the words come out of his mouth.

“Forget this fucker,” Jordie says with a wave of his hand. “Or tell me where he lives and I’ll go fuck him up.”

The sad part is, Jamie can’t do either of those. Forgetting Tyler is impossible, and Jamie’s heart might be shattered right now, but hockey has to come before his feelings. The Stars need Tyler, so Jordie killing him would probably go over really poorly with the organization.

Jamie shakes his head and Jordie sighs.

“I’m sorry, Jame. I guess I kinda got you into this situation, eh? I thought it was a good idea to get you back out there. I never meant for you to get hurt.”

It’s a sign that Jordie calls him Jame, and not Chubbs or Fatts, or even just Jamie. It’s the name he always used when they were kids when Jamie got upset over someone picking on him.

“S’not your fault,” Jamie mumbles. “M’not good enough for anyone.”

“Hey.” Jordie grabs Jamie’s chin and lifts it so their eyes meet. “Don’t you fucking say that shit about my brother. You’re an awesome dude, okay? You’re the captain of an NHL team. An All-Star. An Olympic gold medalist. A mother fuckin’ Art Ross winner. And who is Paul? A fuckin’ loser who probably teaches annoying brats how to do math for a living. That’s lame as shit, and you’re obviously way too good for him. So stop thinking about yourself like that and start thinking like the guy everyone on this damn team looks up to.”

Jamie can’t help the snort that comes out. If only Jordie knew. “Paul” is actually a Stanley Cup champion, a World gold medalist, an All-Star, and probably going to be an Art Ross winner before his career is over, too. He’s one of the guys everyone on the team looks up to along with Jamie.

“I’m done talking about this shit, okay?” Jordie says. “I think we still have a container of ice cream in the back of the freezer. Let’s kill whatever’s left in it and not tell anyone.”

Jamie’s lips twitch into a small smile for the first time in what feels like hours.

“Yeah,” he says. “Let’s kill it.”

******

Jamie has never been so grateful in his life for a day off. He uses it to wallow in self-pity, just long enough that he’s able to get most of it out of his system. He still feels like he got punched in the gut when he thinks about walking into practice and seeing Tyler in the locker room. He still feels like he got slapped across the face when he thinks about going out on the ice and playing with Tyler as his center. But at least now it feels…tolerable.

But when Jason asks him in the middle of the locker room after practice about his date the other day, Jamie freezes. He doesn’t know how Jason found out about it (let’s be real, it was probably from Jordie), but he’s at a loss about what to say. Fortunately, he doesn’t have to say anything.

“Forget about that fucking loser,” Jordie says roughly.

“He was an asshole?” Jason asks, his head swiveling between the Benn brothers.

“He was a fucking moron who didn’t deserve to even meet my brother, let alone go on a date with him.”

Jamie has to keep himself from looking at Tyler, knowing full well that he’s hearing everything being said.

“Damn. Sorry, Chubbs,” Jason says.

“It’s whatever,” Jamie says softly, trying to brush it off.

“I’m shocked, really. I mean, who wouldn’t want to date you?”

“Daddy, shut up,” Jordie says, knowing Jamie doesn’t really want to talk about it.

“No, seriously. Like, I’m not gay or whatever—at all. But if I was, I’d be honored to get a date with you, Captain.”

A bunch of guys who have been listening in chime in with their agreements, which simultaneously make Jamie a little proud but also completely embarrassed. He’s glad they have his back, but he wishes they wouldn’t say all of this while his failed date is standing right there. And speaking of which…

“Seggy, you’re oddly quiet about all this,” Jason points out.

“Oh, uh. Yeah,” Tyler says.

“I’m sure you’ve got something to say about it,” Jason says.

“Not—not really.” Tyler ducks his head, and Jamie almost feels bad for him. Almost.

“Nothing? Come on, you don’t have anything to say about this asshole?”

“Sorry,” Tyler says more to Jason, though Jamie knows part of it is aimed at him.

Tyler doesn’t let the conversation continue, instead seizing the opportunity to duck out of the room with one last goodbye.

“That was weird,” Jason says, suddenly right next to Jamie.

“Just drop it, Daddy,” Jamie pleads.

“Something wrong between you two?” he asks instead.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Jordie says, grabbing Jason by the back of the neck and steering him away from Jamie. “You and I are going to lunch, where we are specifically not going to talk about my brother.”

Jamie gives Jordie a small, but grateful smile and Jordie nods back. He watches the two of them leave, along with a decent amount of the rest of the team.

“I’m not going to be an asshole like Demers is,” Spezza says from behind Jamie. “But you and Seggy were both being weird today, and I know you both well enough by now to know that can’t be a coincidence. So if you want to talk about it, you know where I live.”

Jamie nods in response. He’s glad he’s got someone willing to listen, but he’s just not sure how he could get the words out to a random teammate when he can’t even tell his own brother the truth about what’s going on.

“Thanks for the offer,” he says politely.

Jamie shoulders his bag and waves goodbye to the few guys still milling about. It might be a little childish, but if Tyler has nothing to say, neither does Jamie.

******

It takes almost a week before either of them talk directly to each other outside of the normal hockey line mates chatter during practice. The radio silence starts to drive Jamie a little crazy, if for no other reason than he wants to tell Tyler to fuck off every time he catches him staring out of the corner of his eye in the locker room. But Jamie is the one who got hurt here, so he shouldn’t be the one responsible for fixing it.

The break in their non-communication finally happens, of course, while Jamie is in the middle of changing after practice. Their line had an absolute shit show of a practice, and Jamie really isn’t in the mood to deal with Tyler’s nonsense on top of feeling like an insufficient captain.

“Hey,” Tyler says quietly behind him.

“What do you want?” Jamie asks, his hand clenching around his shirt automatically.

“Uh, I was, uh…just wondering if, um…”

“Spit it out, Seggy. I don’t have all day,” Jamie snaps, turning to look at him.

Jamie doesn’t mean to snap—not really. But it’s been a long practice and he’s still having a hard time even looking at Tyler and he just really wants to go home. Tyler pales and then blushes within a matter of seconds, a feat Jamie wasn’t sure was even possible. And really, the way Tyler is staring at his chest is just so unfair it makes Jamie want to see how quickly that blush can become a bruise.

“Can we, um. Can we talk?” Tyler asks.

“About what?”

“About last week.” Jamie swallows and grips his shirt a little tighter.

“Why?” he asks.

“There are a couple things I need to say,” Tyler whispers.

“I’m pretty sure you said enough,” Jamie says roughly.

He pulls his shirt over his head and grabs the strap of his bag. He turns to make his way out of the locker room. He’s done letting this weigh on his mind. If Tyler wants to keep staring at him in the locker room and wants to keep bringing it up in his own head, that’s fine. But Jamie doesn’t have time to play those games. He’s got a team to lead, and a spot in the playoffs to win.

“Please?” Tyler asks, so quietly that Jamie isn’t even sure if he actually heard it, or if it was just in his head.

He looks over at Tyler, whose eyes are fixed on Jamie’s. He’s worrying at his lip, which is ridiculously distracting despite Jamie’s desire to move past everything. But even more so, now that Jamie is letting himself look, he can see the physical effects of mental distress in Tyler’s body. His eyes are sunken in, dark circles around them. His hair is unkempt, more than it normally is post-practice. He looks to be about ten pounds skinnier than he should be at this point in the season. His nails are bitten down so far that a couple of them have started to bleed at one point, and he’s playing with a strip of hockey tape in his hands that looks like he’s just about shredded it.

All signs point to serious emotional turmoil, and even though Tyler shattered Jamie’s heart, the captain—and former best friend—in him knows he has to do something to right this ship. For the team.

“My house. Right now. I’ll give you five minutes, and if you can’t give me a damn good reason to keep listening, I’ll kick you out.”

Tyler lets out a huge sigh and nods.

Jamie turns for the door and doesn’t look back. He’s not sure what his face looks like at this point, but he’s willing to bet it isn’t pretty. His team doesn’t need to see that.

Five minutes. That’s all he’s giving Tyler, and he thinks that’s more than fair.

He just hopes five minutes isn’t enough for Tyler to break his heart all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all going to hate me for leaving it like this, but I'M NOT SORRY.
> 
> Even more bad news (for you)- I'm leaving the country for a little while. So nothing is going to be posted until I come back.
> 
> If you're really mad, you can blame MissCocoQc for bullying me into posting this now. (It wasn't actually bullying, so please don't be mean.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this has taken so long to post. Between traveling for almost a month and then coming home to one of the craziest work schedules I've had since I started my job, I have struggled to find the time to give this the attention it deserves.
> 
> But I hope that this 5K-word chapter is enough to make it up to you all!!!
> 
> There's technically one more chapter left, but it's just an epilogue and it's been mostly written since I started this. So it will definitely be up soon.

Five minutes.

That’s all Jamie is giving Tyler—five minutes.

He has to keep reminding himself of the time limit. Jamie has always had a weakness for Tyler, even when they were just best friends with nothing else going on. He knows if he isn’t mindful, he’ll let Tyler talk for an hour and will feel even worse afterwards than he does now.

He’s half tempted to set an alarm on his phone just so there’s an exact measurement of time to go by, but Jamie thinks he’s got better self control than that.

He’s still the captain, Tyler is still his line mate, and they still have the entirety of the Dallas Stars organization to think about.

He lets Tyler grab a water; he considers getting himself a beer, since this whole situation makes him want to get drunk. But he decides against it.

“When I first—when I realized I was into guys as well as girls…” Tyler sighs. “I always knew I was going to have to keep it to myself, you know? I mean, you probably felt the same way, right? Don’t tell anyone. Keep it hidden, hook up with girls, act like nothing is different about you. And most importantly, don’t ever look at your teammates in the locker room.”

Jamie nods. He most certainly knows that feeling. He lived that for so many years, until he finally decided to come out to the team.

“I’ve been living that way forever, man,” Tyler says. “And when I finally got to Boston, I thought… maybe I wouldn’t have to. As a rookie, I kept my mouth shut and just did what they told me to do. But then after my second year, I thought maybe I could trust those guys, you know? Like how you can trust our guys. I didn’t tell everyone. Just a couple. But they…”

Tyler’s whole body shudders, and Jamie feels the wall he built up between them starting to crumble. He can see where this is going, and it makes him want to pull Tyler in close.

“They weren’t okay with it,” Tyler finishes, soft and probably the most vulnerable Jamie has ever heard him speak.

“Ty,” Jamie starts.

“No. Let me finish, okay?” Tyler asks, meeting Jamie’s eyes. “You deserve a full explanation.”

Jamie nods silently.

“I became—I was an easy target for them,” he says, looking down at his hands. “They avoided me in the locker room. They outed me to the rest of the team and made it into a joke—made _me_ into a joke. When I would have a good night, someone would always make some comment about how I should go find someone to fill my pussy to celebrate. When I had a bad night, they would say someone needed to teach me how to be a disciplined little fag. They were—they were _mean_ about it. And I had to just act like it wasn’t destroying me inside. I had to laugh and go along with everything, like it wasn’t a problem. Like I wasn’t dying inside every time they said something.”

He sniffs, and Jamie’s heart breaks for him. He can’t imagine what it was like for Tyler. He came out to the Stars and was met with open arms and more support than he could have ever imagined. And yeah, part of that was having his brother by his side. But he also was very fortunate in having a group of guys who just understood. Who love him and know that his sexuality doesn’t change who he is as a player, and as a leader on this team.

“Why didn’t you tell any of us?” Jamie has to ask. “You had to have known we would support you.”

Tyler lets out a little laugh, though there’s nothing substantial behind it. He pauses to think a moment before responding, so Jamie knows he’s thought about what he’s saying.

 “Obviously I knew everyone would be okay with me being into guys. But…I don’t know. I guess I was still hurting from the way they treated me in Boston. I was still a little scared of that happening here, too. So I didn’t say anything right away, and then the longer it went the harder I thought it would be to come out. Especially to you, since you trusted everyone with that information about yourself. I mean, how would that look, right? You trusted us and I couldn’t trust you?”

Tyler probably has a point. Jamie most likely wouldn’t have reacted so well, not knowing why Tyler didn’t trust him at first. And now that he knows, he definitely wouldn’t have wanted Tyler to feel like Dallas was going to be the same as Boston.

“But I can’t lie to you, Jamie,” Tyler says, breaking his train of thought. “I think I started to fall in love with you the very first day I got to Dallas.”

Jamie sucks in a breath, but Tyler just barrels through like he didn’t just drop a bomb in the middle of his kitchen.

“I tried to keep my distance, at first. Because I knew I would fall for you so fast and so hard. But I just couldn’t stay away. And then you came out, and it was even harder for me to keep my fantasies from going crazy. Suddenly, my best friend and the star of my wet dreams was actually into guys. In what world does that actually happen? But you never showed any interest in me, so I had to keep everything close to my heart.”

Tyler takes a swig of his water and Jamie knows they’re way past the five minute mark. He knows he promised himself he would kick Tyler out by now, but he just can’t seem to bring himself to do it. Not now that he knows a little more about what Tyler has been through.

“I’m sorry that you’ve been holding all these feelings in, Seggy,” he says. “But I still don’t understand. If you’ve been feeling this way about me,” Jamie’s breath is shaky on its way out. “Why did you…”

“I was scared,” Tyler admits. “A million thoughts were going through my head. At first, I thought maybe someone—someone from the Bruins told you about me and you were just playing a joke on me.”

Jamie pulls back sharply from where he was about to drop his hand on Tyler’s shoulder.

“I know you weren’t, Jamie. Trust me, I only had that thought for like half a second,” Tyler explains in a rush. “I swear, Jame. I know you weren’t. I knew you weren’t. It was a split-second thought that I forgot almost as fast as I thought it.”

Jamie nods, feeling slighted, but knowing that Tyler didn’t mean to insult him.

“I also thought maybe you would change your mind. I know I’m not the easiest person to be with. So once you found out it was me, I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to deal with all this. I couldn’t let you break my heart, so I thought maybe it would hurt less if I broke it myself. And then there’s the whole issue of us being teammates. I mean, I think you’re awesome. You know how much I like you, dude. And you’re sexy as hell. But if shit goes wrong between us and the team suffers for it…we both know you’re not the one on the trading block. I—I like it here, Jame. I love Dallas and I love the Stars and I really don’t want to get traded again.”

“You know, all of these worries could have been taken care of if you just talked to me about it. If you had let me in instead of pushing me away so quickly,” Jamie says.

“I know. Trust me, I know. I’m not winning any awards for maturity any time soon. But you have to see where I’m coming from. I’m crazy about you, Jamie. But I am so scared of what could happen if this doesn’t work out.”

“You don’t want to lose this team,” Jamie says.

“And I don’t want to lose you, either.”

Jamie sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He doesn’t know what to do. He knows what his heart wants, but his head is still trying to protect himself. Jamie has never been one to follow his head, though. He’s an emotional man, and his heart always overrules his brain.

“I promise, no matter what, I will always fight for you to stay here in Dallas,” he says. “I know no one stood up for you in Boston. You can’t even imagine how much I hate that entire city for what it did to you. But Ty—babe, Dallas is your home. Dallas is your city— _our_ city. And regardless of what happens between us, I will never let them treat you like that.”

Jamie glances up at Tyler, just in time to see him quickly wipe away a falling tear from his cheek. He crosses the short distance between them and grabs Tyler’s face between his two hands. He cups Tyler’s jaw gently, but firm enough that he has no choice but to look at Jamie.

“I love you, Ty. As my teammate, as my best friend, and maybe as something more. As long as I’m around, you will always have someone on your side. No matter what.”

Tyler squeezes his eyes closed. Another tear follows the same path as the last one, and Jamie catches it with his thumb.

“Thank you,” Tyler whispers.

Jamie presses his lips to Tyler’s forehead. He completely understands, now, why Tyler reacted the way he did. And Jamie needs him to feel just how much he cares.

“Do you think the guys will be upset if I come out to them?” Tyler asks.

“No,” Jamie says forcefully.

“I don’t mean like that. I mean—” Tyler makes a sound, a mix between painful and frustrated. “I mean, I’ve been here for years now. You came out, and we’ve grown together as a team. But all this time I’ve been lying to them. I’ve kept part of myself hidden. Do you think they’ll be mad at me for not being honest?”

“Tyler,” Jamie says with a sigh. “Oh, Tyler. No, I don’t think they’ll be mad at you. Your sexuality is something that’s personal, they all know that. Yeah, I came out a while ago. But that doesn’t mean that you should have come out then, too. You should do it when you feel comfortable. And I don’t think anyone will fault you for waiting until you’re ready.”

All the muscles in Tyler’s body relax all at once and he slumps into Jamie’s embrace. His head falls on Jamie’s shoulder and his hands grasp Jamie’s t-shirt. Jamie wraps an arm around his back and winds the other hand through his hair at the top of his neck. Jamie squeezes tight, as though he can protect him from everything just by sheer will. Tyler is so wrapped up in Jamie’s body (and Jamie has to push down feelings about how it feels) that he almost doesn’t hear his next words.

“Would you give me another shot?” Tyler asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Another date,” Tyler says, pulling his head back a little to look at Jamie. “I know I’m a fuck up, but I—I want to give us a shot. I think we can—we can be something, Jame. Something special.”

Jamie lets his head fall forward, landing on Tyler’s with a thunk. Everything inside Jamie wants to just say yes. It would be easy, if it wasn’t for the little bit of him that’s still so hurt by Tyler’s previous response.

“You’re not a fuck up. But I just don’t know,” he admits. “I can’t put my heart out there just to have you decide you don’t want to do this and shatter it again. I want something real, Ty. Something I can share with the team and with my family. Eventually, something I can share with the whole world. I don’t want to pressure you into being that something, but I also don’t think I could start this without knowing for sure it’s part of the plan for the future.”

Tyler grabs Jamie’s hand and turns it over to run his fingers along the palm.

“I can’t promise you that I would be willing to come out right away. Not to the whole team, at least. And certainly not to the whole world. But a couple guys at first would be okay. I know Jordie is important. Maybe Daddy, and a few others if you really wanted to. And our families. I’m tired of hiding who I am, and I know eventually I want to be honest with everyone. I can promise you that I want something real, too. Just…give me some time and one more chance to show you how good we could be.”

Jamie closes his hand around Tyler’s fingers. As close as they are, he would be willing to bet Tyler can feel how fast his heart is beating. Jamie knows he can’t say no, despite how badly he wants to take some time to think about it. He’s never really been able to say no to Tyler.

“Okay.”

********

Things are, admittedly, a lot better between the two of them immediately after their talk. It’s pretty obvious. The minute they walk into the locker room together, the boys get super excited. They get a few chirps about their little feud, but mostly everyone just seems to like have their two stars working together again.

With the schedule as packed as it is, it takes Jamie and Tyler almost a week until they’re able to have a night available to go out. It’s technically their second date, if they count the disaster at the coffee shop. But Jamie knows that—just like everything that has to do with him and Tyler—the rules are being thrown out the window.

So Jamie is prepared for whatever happens afterwards.

The date is, surprisingly, pretty relaxed. Dinner and a movie, both of which Tyler pays for despite Jamie’s protests.

“If you want to pay for a date, you can be the one to ask me out,” Tyler says with a wink as they make their way into the theater.

Jamie knows it’s cheesy, but he even pulls out the old trick where he pretends to stretch in order to put his arm around Tyler. Tyler, of course, laughs at him a little bit. But he settles easily into Jamie’s side anyway, so Jamie doesn’t really care.

Overall, it’s reminiscent of a middle school or high school date.

The second they’re through the door into Jamie’s house, though, Tyler has him pinned to the wall. Hard planes rub up against each other, sparking nerves in Jamie’s body that he hasn’t felt in a very long time.

“Fuck,” Tyler mumbles into Jamie’s mouth. And yeah, Jamie’s on board with that.

He lets Tyler continue to dominate his mouth, licking into it and claiming it as his own. Jamie’s hands run all along Tyler’s sides, eventually slipping under the waistband of Tyler’s jeans and into his boxers. He leaves them at the top of his ass for a minute, hoping Tyler won’t tell him to stop.

He knows Tyler won’t tell him to stop.

Jamie breaks their kiss and mouths along Tyler’s neck, which allows Tyler to start talking.

“Been thinkin’ about your hands,” he says. “God, your _hands_ , Jamie. Want them all over me. Want them in me."

Jamie’s heart stutters at the thought. Tyler’s hips grind into his, and Jamie swears he sees stars it feels so good. He starts to slide one hand down lower, between Tyler’s ass cheeks. If his hands are what Tyler wants, his hands are what Tyler can have. He fully expects to be met with the feel of Tyler’s hole, but instead—

“Holy shit,” Jamie’s head falls forward.

“It’s for you, babe,” Tyler says, breathless.

Jamie growls and quickly flips them so he’s got Tyler pinned against the wall now. Tyler moans, deep and so fucking beautiful, and Jamie finds himself rubbing up against Tyler’s thigh while pressing his fingers against the plug in Tyler’s ass.

“Bed,” Jamie demands. “Now.”

Tyler practically whines and scurries out from underneath Jamie’s body to head to the steps. He tears his own shirt off along the way, and Jamie’s joins it on the floor. Tyler reaches the top of the stairs and turns around to make sure Jamie is right behind him.

Jamie pushes him against the wall again, letting their skin slide together for the first time. He drops his hands to Tyler’s belt and quickly unbuckles it and his pants, letting them fall to his ankles. He wraps one hand around Tyler’s neck and presses their lips together, shoving his tongue into Tyler’s mouth. He works the other hand around Tyler’s hip and squeezes hard.

At first, Tyler tries holding on to Jamie’s arms, shoulders, chest, hips—anything he can get a grip on. But after a minute of Jamie’s tongue down his throat, he decides to fumble with Jamie’s pants, which—that’s a good choice, too. He bypasses the middle step and pushes Jamie’s boxers down with them.

The next press of their hips together lets Jamie feel just how hard Tyler is in his briefs. And god, if it doesn’t feel so fucking good to let his cock drag along the smooth cut of Tyler’s abs.

Tyler starts to slide to his knees, making Jamie’s cock throb with anticipation. But Jamie stops him first.

“No, Ty,” he says. “If—if you do that, I won’t make it. And I want to get inside you.”

Tyler pouts and Jamie has to close his eyes to keep from giving in to the thought of shoving Tyler to the floor and fucking his throat until he comes all over his pretty face right here in the hallway.

“Bed, baby. Please,” Jamie begs.

Tyler stumbles as he tries to get out of his shoes and pants, which gives Jamie a spectacular view of his ass bent over and damn it, now Jamie is thinking about bending him over the bed and eating him out until he cries and that is a thought he’s going to have to file away for later when he isn’t absolutely desperate to get his cock inside that ass instead.

They have got to get into his bedroom _now_.

Tyler, as dazed as he seems to be, definitely still knows what he’s doing to Jamie. He waits until they’re in the bedroom and Jamie is pressed up right behind him to wiggle his ass back against Jamie’s cock, giving him a preview of what’s to come.

Jamie moans and thrusts up against Tyler’s ass, leaving a trail of pre cum on his briefs. He pushes Tyler so he’s bent over the end of the bed and pulls back to admire the gorgeous lines of Tyler’s back. His hands follow his eyes, pressing hard into the muscles as he goes until he reaches Tyler’s waistband. He peels the briefs off slowly, teasing both himself and Tyler.

He’s got them halfway down, ready to see his prize when Tyler surprises him again.

“Oh my god,” Jamie says with a sharp intake of breath. “You’re going to kill me.”

Of fucking course Tyler had to choose the fucking victory green plug for tonight. Because the idea of Tyler, naked in his bed and begging for his cock isn’t tempting enough. Now he’s got a real-life view of Tyler’s pretty ass with the plug he’s jerked off to the thought of so many times.

“Victory green,” Tyler says, clearly proud of himself.

Jamie moans and digs his fingertips into Tyler’s cheeks, spreading them to get a better look. It’s just as delicious as he remembers from that photo. Tyler’s hole keeps clenching around the plug, making Jamie picture it clenching around his cock instead. Jamie is so fucking lucky.

“C’mon,” Tyler huffs. “You can look all you want later, I thought you wanted to just get in me already.”

Jamie groans and bites a quick mark into Tyler’s ass cheek. Yeah, he’ll get to look all he wants later. This ass— Tyler’s ass—is all his. But for now, Tyler’s got a point.

Jamie pulls back and smacks Tyler on the ass. Tyler jumps a little and a surprised moan falls from his lips. That’s definitely something Jamie is going to have to file away for later.

Fuck, the list in Jamie’s head of things he wants to do to Tyler just keeps growing.

“Get on the bed,” he orders.

Tyler scrambles to get in position while Jamie grabs lube and a condom from his bedside table. When Jamie turns back around, Tyler is spread out on his bed, his knees bent. One hand is gripping the base of his cock and the other is toying with the plug.

Jamie finds himself drawn to looking at the plug again, seating himself between Tyler’s legs and running his hand from the inside of Tyler’s knee down to where Tyler’s hand is. Jamie covers it, stilling the movement, and moves it to the sheets.

“I used a lot of lube so it should come out easy,” Tyler murmurs.

Jamie hums and uses his thumb to push the plug in just a little. Goosebumps break out on Tyler’s skin and Jamie smirks, knowing he’s got him just where he wants him. Jamie gives the plug an experimental tug and, yeah, Tyler used enough lube for it to slip out with a bit of pressure.

Jamie considers investigating the toy that’s been haunting his wet dreams for weeks, but his attention is required elsewhere as Tyler pushes up to bring their mouths together. Jamie lets him lick into his mouth for a while, enjoying the way Tyler tastes and the soft sounds he makes between kisses.

Eventually, though, Jamie guides him back down to the bed and pops the cap on the lube. With his mouth still leaving ghost kisses on Tyler’s lips, he squirts a generous amount on his fingers. Tyler jumps at the first touch of Jamie’s fingers to his hole, but quickly pushes back on to them.

He’s done a good job of preparing himself, so Jamie is able to start right away with two fingers. He tests the spread of them, scissoring them apart and toying at the rim with his thumb. He slips a third finger in, making everything tighter. Tyler’s body resists at first, a beautiful sign that no one has fucked him in a while, but eventually relaxes enough that Jamie knows he’d be able to fit his cock in there with no problem.

“God, Jamie. I want you so bad. I’m ready. Please,” Tyler begs.

It’s music to Jamie’s ears. He pulls his fingers out and rips open the condom, quickly sheathing himself.

“I do want to make love to you, Tyler,” Jamie admits softly. It’s been at the top of his list since their date started. “But I don’t have the control to do that now.”

Tyler surges up and claims Jamie’s lips in a forceful kiss. He uses their upward momentum to flip himself over and up on to his knees.

“It’s okay,” he says over his shoulder. “We’ve got plenty of time for that later.”

Tyler curves his back and sticks his ass up in the air and really, no one can blame Jamie for the growl that comes from his throat. Tyler looks so fucking good, presenting his ass for Jamie to take. Jamie tests Tyler’s hole one more time with his thumb and then finally—finally slides in.

It feels like coming home.

Tyler feels so fucking perfect. He’s tight and warm and takes all of Jamie’s cock in one go like he’s made for it.

Both of them are moaning and Jamie has to stop himself for a second, once he’s fully inside Tyler so he doesn’t go off like a teenager way too soon.

“Fuck. Jamie, fuck.” Tyler is breathing heavily. “God, I knew you’d feel so fucking good in me. I knew you’d fill me up.”

Jamie pulls out until just his head remains inside Tyler and rockets his hips forward. Tyler squeaks and falls forward onto the bed. He turns his head to the side and Jamie presses his shoulders down with one hand, pulling out and thrusting back in.

Tyler moans and then—oh, god. Then Tyler starts to talk. He tells Jamie everything: how it feels to have Jamie fucking him into the bed; how badly he’s wanted Jamie inside him for so long; how he wants Jamie to just use him, take everything he wants because Tyler is his.

 Jamie’s hips dimly complain about the movements—he hasn’t really done this since before his surgeries. But the sound of Tyler’s voice begging him to go harder and just don’t stop— _Jamie, please don’t stop_ —overrules the soreness he knows he’ll feel when they’re done.

Jamie drapes himself over Tyler’s body and Tyler’s knees collapse under the weight. His legs close a little as he lays down, tightening everything around Jamie and it feels so good to just fuck into Tyler like this. He barely even pulls out, just slams in and grinds as deep as he can get over and over again.

It’s an amazing feeling, and honestly Jamie could probably come soon if he really lets himself go. But then Jamie realizes Tyler is having a hard time catching his breath, and that’s not something he wants to happen before they get a chance to talk about everything.

So he slows to a stop despite Tyler’s protests. Jamie widens his knees, taking Tyler’s with them, and hooks an arm under Tyler’s torso. He pulls them both up and sits back on his heels, letting Tyler’s back rest against his chest.

“I—I don’t,” Tyler stumbles. He takes a deep breath as he settles on Jamie’s cock. His arms reach up and lock around Jamie’s neck, holding him upright. “I’m not going to last much longer.”

Jamie mouths along Tyler’s neck and decides to bite down hard right where it meets his jaw. Tyler lets out one of the most gorgeous sounds Jamie has ever heard and his whole body clenches.

“Neither am I,” Jamie says, his voice husky like it always is when he gets this turned on. “Especially if you keep squeezing me like that.”

Tyler tightens around Jamie again, and giggles at Jamie’s responding groan. Jamie still has the upper hand though, as he wraps his fingers around Tyler’s cock and thrusts upward into him.

Tyler gasps and Jamie smiles, knowing he’s got Tyler right where he wants him. He rests the palm of his free hand in the middle of Tyler’s chest, tightens his grip on Tyler’s cock, and gives Tyler a couple long thrusts.

“Fuck,” Tyler says, sounding ringed out. His head drops backwards on to Jamie’s shoulder and Jamie finds that spot between his neck and jaw again. Jamie bites down and goes to town.

“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,” Tyler chants breathlessly.

Jamie twists his his hand gently around the head of Tyler’s cock, pumps up into him a couple more times, and is finally rewarded by Tyler spilling over his hand. Tyler sighs with content and goes boneless in Jamie’s arms. It’s possibly one of the most beautiful things Jamie has ever experienced.

Jamie’s stills his hips; he isn’t sure if Tyler is okay with being fucked after he’s come.

“Keep going,” Tyler says, making up Jamie’s mind for him.

It doesn’t take long, especially once Tyler’s brain seems to clear and he starts squeezing his ass in time with Jamie’s thrusts. Jamie comes with Tyler’s name on his lips. His head falls forward on to Tyler, and for a moment he just basks in what is most definitely the best orgasm he’s ever had.

Eventually, though, he knows they have to move. He and Tyler work together to slide apart, and he ties off the condom while Tyler falls forward onto the bed and stretches out his legs. Jamie runs a hand down Tyler’s spine, getting a soft hum in response.

Tyler rolls over on to his side and Jamie lays gingerly next to him. He lets out a hiss as his hips get a little relief, and Tyler’s hands are instantly on him. His thumbs rub softly along Jamie’s scars.

“Your hips okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine, baby,” Jamie assures him with a little kiss. “I just haven’t done that in a while so they’re a little sore.”

Tyler snuggles closer, still keeping his hands wrapped protectively over Jamie’s hips. Jamie appreciates the gesture, and shows Tyler by hauling him in for a deep, slow kiss. When they break apart, Tyler’s eyes are mostly closed and he seems on the verge of passing out.

“You’re a sleepy cuddler after you come, eh?” Jamie asks with a small laugh.

“You’re warm,” Tyler says slowly. “An’ comfy.”

Jamie chuckles and lets his arm wrap around Tyler’s body. He slides one leg between Tyler’s and pecks a kiss on his forehead.

“Go to sleep,” he says.

“You gon’ stay?” Tyler mumbles.

“Of course,” Jamie says.

“Kay.”

Tyler says something else, but between Tyler being practically asleep and his face shoved against Jamie’s shoulder, Jamie can’t understand it.

“What, baby?” he asks.

“Said—love you,” Tyler responds.

Jamie’s heart bursts and he runs a hand through Tyler's hair.

“I love you too, Ty,” he says.

Based on the soft snore he gets in return, Jamie is pretty sure Tyler didn’t hear him. But that’s okay. Jamie will have plenty of opportunities in the future to say it again.


	8. Epilogue

One of the highlights of the day is when Jordie carries the Stanley Cup down the aisle with their rings in it. Jamie can’t say it’s the best part, though, because that would be the moment where he slid Tyler’s ring onto his finger and got to kiss him for the first time as a married couple. But having the Cup there definitely makes everything feel a little more special.

Surprisingly, Brownie gives a beautiful best man speech. It’s filled with laughter, love, and only a couple of inappropriate comments. Jamie is impressed, and it makes him glad that Ty has such a great friend who truly cares about him.

Tyler and Brownie bro-hug at the end, which basically everyone was expecting. But then Brownie turns and pulls Jamie up into a hug too, which totally throws him for a loop. But hey, this is his husband’s best friend. He’s practically family now, so he guesses it makes sense.

Holy shit. Tyler is Jamie’s _husband_. Jamie has to smile at that thought, and Tyler catches him. No one knows him like Tyler does, so he can tell exactly why Jamie is smiling. They both lean in at the same time, and it’s easy for Jamie to ignore the cheers around them in favor of paying attention to the feel of Tyler’s lips on his.

Next it’s Jordie’s turn to speak. Jamie hasn’t heard any of what’s been written, he’s just heard Daddy’s running commentary on it. So he’s pretty nervous to hear what his brother has to say.

Jordie takes the mic from Brownie with a wink and turns to the large crowd of family, friends, and teammates.

“Okay, so normally this is the part where I talk about Jamie as a kid and embarrass him because I’m his older brother and that’s my job and blah blah blah, Tyler you got a great guy, blah blah blah.”

The crowd laughs.

“But I don’t really feel like giving that kind of speech so I’m not. Instead, I’m going to tell you the real story about how Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn fell in love. Yes, that’s right folks, the cute story about how they suddenly realized they had mutual feelings was all a carefully constructed lie.”

Jamie’s heart rate picks up a little, but he feels Tyler’s hand slide into his and as always it immediately calms him down. Tyler scotches his chair closer to Jamie and his thumb brushes against the cool metal around Jamie’s finger. Jamie doesn’t even bother fighting back a smile as he wraps his arm around Tyler’s shoulders and holds him close.

“You see, it all started when Jamie left his phone on the table when he and Tyler went to walk the dogs…”

Jamie can let his brother have the spotlight for a little bit, and he doesn’t even really mind that Jordie is going to spill the truth about everything. He gets to spend the rest of his life with Tyler, and in the end that’s all that really matters.

“I love you,” he whispers in Tyler’s ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the love on this story I had so much fun writing it and I'm so glad you all enjoyed it.


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